clkelyqld2
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Posted: Mon 12:43, 02 Sep 2013 Post subject: abercrombie Do You Mean to Scare People Off |
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KAY WHITE [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] is a communicator who is as passionate about seeing her clients succeed as she [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] is about them becoming more confident, more assertive and, crucially, more influential in their business. Once people really 'get' how powerful they are as they become conscious of how - and what - [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] they're communicating, their relationships become stronger and easier, their confidence soars and people are drawn to them.
We've all heard someone start off with "Well, the trouble is" or "What worries me is" haven't we? Or what about the classic "Now, our first problem is" - talk about putting you on your back foot and priming you for 'trouble ahead'.
You know the thing that happens when we hear those sorts of phrases? [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] Our brain immediately asks "uh, oh - what's wrong?" or "oh dear, I need to brace myself for a problem" and so we're automatically on the look out - or listening out - for a [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] problem.
Ask [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] yourself this. "Is it useful for me and for [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] what I want to say to have people listening out for a problem?" No. We both know it's actually counter-productive. When we start [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] to [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] scare people off or put them on the alert, we're telling them that we're [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] thinking about something as a problem. They may not. They may actually decide it's an opportunity or have a spin on the subject that you haven't thought of and often you can come across as a worrier or a 'scaremonger' without actually meaning to.
The more savvy, effective way to draw someone's attention to something tricky is to present it as a challenge or something to solve and introduce it that way.
Here are a few quick examples for you to introduce the thing you're a bit concerned about or see as a 'problem' but without labeling it as one at the outset:
"Now, here's something I know you'll have some thoughts on…" "What ideas do you have about …." "This could be a [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] bit tricky, how will we get around this…." "I've been thinking about this and know that you'll be able to help…" "How are we going to avoid …."
By presenting the information in the form of a challenge or by presuming that the other person will have ideas about it or a solution you do 3 savvy things, straight away:
1. You come across as someone who is both open to a challenge and always looking for the solution
2. You prime the other person to be 'up' for the challenge by presuming they'll be able to help and posing them a helpful question rather than presenting them with a problem (What ideas do you have; How can we; What do we do about)
3. You avoid that whole scaremonger, doom-and-gloom way "what I'm afraid of is" and "the worst thing [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] is" by actually planting the suggestion of blocks or bumps in the road and scaring people off. So, the next time you hear someone say "well, the trouble is", presume that they really only need to flip it and think to yourself "well, the trick here is, how do we…" and then off you go and lead the hunt for the solution.
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